A Real Infomercial I Actually Saw

Hey guys! Wanna cure your cancer with some arbitrary bullshit food you probably have lying around the house? Well then, read on! Even if you don’t have cancer — this shit’ll give you super powers, dumbass!

The Philosophy of Waiting or: Why Young Me would Despise Me

When’s the last time you had to wait for something — and I mean like, physically plop yourself down and wait? It’s not a very fond memory, right? ┬áBut unless you were waiting in line at the DMV, it probably didn’t have to be all that bad. Let me tell you why: